It’s interesting that people will admire and be inspired by what I do because it is different, unique, out of the box, creative, and refreshing. However, when I get closer to them, many will want to mold me, fix me like I am broken, and try to fit me into what they think is best for me. And this includes the so called American/ Canadian dream of stability, security, a good job, acquiring more things, and money above all, of course before happiness.

Yet, it’s this very dream that causes them so much anxiety, agitation and unhappiness. And they want me to join them? I don’t get it. Is this because misery loves company?

Here’s one way to locating these people. Start being happy and positive and they will find you. They are critical, blame others for what is going wrong in their lives, and feel stuck.

When I am with these kind of people, I feel pulled and drawn into their world, their energy, and it’s a staircase going down, not up. I become exhausted, sad and agitated. I take on their energy and “pain body” as Eckhart Tolle refers to it as. It becomes harder to smile and my happy dance becomes more of a painful awkward tango where I am being pulled in different directions.

They say they love me, care about me, and want to succeed. But like a romantic relationship gone bad, the very things that attracted them to me in the first place are the things that become irritating for them and they are compelled to fix me to their liking.

Perhaps it is jealously because I am happy with my life, perhaps it is uneasiness because I don’t fit into what the are perceive as success, perhaps there is anger at themselves for not doing what they want to misplaced at me, lucky me

I don’t want to play this game anymore, dance this dance. I let go. I listen to my own beat and dance to it. In doing so, others who like my beat and me dancing join in. This is how we make music and community.

My dad was passionate about dancing whenever he heard good music. It would move him and he could dance for hours, asking the very young to the very old to be his dance partner but he mostly danced by himself, smiling and laughing at himself. He used to say to me, Caro, “it’s easy, you need to find the beat and dance to it.” I know dad, you are no longer with me, but you are always with me, and I am trying.

Here’s what I have been asking myself these days….

Who brings my energy down when I see them or afterward. Why am I hanging out with these people and why don’t I reduce the time I spend with them?

Who brings my energy up when I spend time with them? Why am I not spending more time with them and searching out these kind of people?

What energizes me and costs me nothing or not much? How can I bring more of these things into my life daily?

What brings me down? What can I eliminate from my life or reduce so I leave more room for the joy to come in?

Why don’t I dance more often? Who wants to join me?