In the wake of the coronavirus, I’ve been exchanging more messages with friends who are frustrated, depressed and worried about the future. It is heartbreaking, and I feel their pain and loss.

With the mounting fears in our cities, countries and the world, are we creating an enormous ball of fear and sadness?

Everything in our world right now is shaky and uncertain. Many people don’t know what there is to live for and how they will go on. If this is not a suicidal cry for help, then I don’t know what is.

We need a coming together more than ever, but how do we do this with the coronavirus social distancing protocol?

These are challenging days, but we have a choice. We can go through our days feeling bad, agitated, depressed, saying, “my life sucks!” Or, we can go through the same days, taking our heads out of the sand and looking around ourselves as part of communities, cities, countries and the world.

We are all suffering.

Buddhist Tibetan teacher, writer, and nun Pema Chodron said,

Buddhist teachings say that difficulty is inevitable in human life. All beings think that they should be happy, so when life becomes difficult or painful, we feel that something has gone wrong and want it to be ok to feel ok again.

What can we do?

We can put on our oxygen masks on first, as they instruct you in a plane, and ensure that we are first nourished physically and emotionally. Only through people having compassion for themselves first, can we have compassion for others.

“Be kinder to yourself. And then let your kindness flood the world.” – Pema Chödrön

Sometimes I feel like a turtle that is flipped upside down with my legs flailing in the air, and I’m not sure how I will get right side up. The first step has been talking to people that love and care about me. Their words, their view of the world and their own struggles have helped me. We need to find the people and things that will help flip us over.

“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” – Pema Chödrön

Part of my therapy is writing. I write to someone who’s become my best friend over time and reluctantly. It’s me! I used to rant and rave to others and myself about things being unfair, and that weren’t working in my life. I found no one was listening or for long, and even I became irritated with the same lines stuck on repeat.

In truth, I was mad because I realized that it was me that never took what I was saying seriously and giving myself what I needed. I write and share to make others feel they are not alone and that I am not alone.

I have been feeling isolated and lonely lately with the semi lock-down in my town. I felt sorry for myself being alone on the other side of the world and not having anyone to speak to in my town because of the language barrier and many foreigners self-isolating. I felt like a leper that people were avoiding. I was irritated and depressed about the situation.

I started to circulate virtually and reach out to people. I realized in circulating in this way, I was building my community that I could speak with. Through this, I could see what is happening with others at home and in other locations and that they had their own problems and issues. That’s the thing we realize when we get our heads out of the sand, there are others, and they are suffering too

Pema Chodron suggests that we use our own stuckness as a stepping stone to understanding what people are up against all over the world. She says,

Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine. Use your personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings. We have so much fear of not being in control, of not being able to hold on to things. Yet the true nature of items is that you’re never in control. You can never hold on to anything. That’s the nature of how things are. But it’s almost like it’s in the genes of being born human that you can’t accept that. You can buy it intellectually, but moment to moment, it brings up a lot of panic and fear. So my own path has been training to relax with groundlessness and the panic that accompanies it.

Instead of burying our heads together in the sand, maybe we can come up for air and see what we can do?

We must reach for people in this time of need. We must form virtual circles of people coming together to help one another, whether at work, in our businesses or homes. Reach out to people who you haven’t spoken to in a while. Just saying hello, how are you doing, and are you ok, matters and are powerful words that touch the heart.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

I remember these words when there are kind words said to me that touch me. And when I know others need uplifting words. Right now, I feel it’s those who my words reach. Is there anybody out there?

Being positive won’t fill our pockets with gold coins to pay the rent. On the other hand, through this caring and love, we will understand that we are not alone, others are suffering besides us and with more significant problems. It will fill our hearts with the richness of care, kindness and love. More than ever, we need this individually, collectively, and as human beings, we always have.

We must reach out virtually far and wide and establish the human connections that we have lost and are critical for our survival.

In our tribes, we can pass the virtual peace pipe from one to another, not necessarily offering solutions, but listening to another. Could there be anything more powerful than listening to each other compassionately right now?

With the power of the Internet and the latest technology, we can create virtual circles around the world to listen to each other and share. There are already many of these networks set up with companies and associations, so let’s use them to help us now. Let’s connect and see if there anybody out there, and to make sure your tribe is ok.

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” – Leo Tolstoy.

How can you feel better almost immediately? I heard writer, musician and entrepreneur Derek Sivers respond to his own question in an Unmistakable Creative podcast recently and say, “help someone.”

Reading about people in the world helping one another and bringing joy and caring into each other lives despite the pandemic is heartwarming and uplifting.

I believe the only way through this is staying uplifted and positive so we can see our way above, beyond and through things. We must work as tribes, knowing that if one person is suffering, we must all help, because it is part of being human and alive.

I suggest if you’re not feeling well, reach out. If you’re feeling ok, reach out to others that you love and care about or may be feeling vulnerable and isolated during this crisis. If not now, then when?

Reach, reach, reach out your virtual hands and hearts until someone knows you are out there, and you can touch someone.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” – Dalai Lama