There is the sweet scent of Jasmine in the room as I write this morning. I love the smell. When I went out early this morning to bring out my garbage down the street, I brought back a piece of Jasmine hanging outside an old building. There are many wildflowers in the rural countryside where I live on Shikoku Island, Japan.

I first noticed the smell of Jasmine when I was in the Little India area of Singapore. There was Jasmine everywhere. It was part of their ceremonies, temples, and culture. There was a sweetness to it, but more than this, there seems to be something holy in the smell.

It’s interesting how smells and tastes can transport us, and this fascinates me. I’ve never used my sight senses as much as I do here, and it’s been good to sharpen this too. I notice what is happening around me, the small things.

When we learn to truly see and appreciate the small things in our lives, that is when magic happens. It’s often those things that we may overlook in our rush to get to our next meeting or Zoom call. It’s in the moments of noticing, and perhaps this is meditation in motion and a mindful life.

It’s not about being calm and still only in meditation and writing. There needs to be some friction in our lives, which is part of our lives, but we create more in our minds. We need something for comparison, to set the things we may not like and like against, like a backdrop. Otherwise, for the things we love, how do we know we love them and how much?

There is no test, but I believe this is where appreciation and gratitude come in. We are relieved when we finish a project, press send on the document we’ve been working on for days, and when the interview or test is over. After the big sigh of relief, in those next breaths, we wonder, what’s next?

We’ve created a gap, where once we were focusing and racing ahead with a deadline or goal. Once it’s gone, we ask, what’s next, or maybe it’s more like this for us goal-driven people. Without the goal, we are lost, confused. We don’t have as much motivation or inspiration to get on with our day because we don’t know where we’re heading.

These goals give us a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning because we can work on that goal! Without a goal, we may feel sad and down because we are left alone with ourselves, and ask now what?

We are so used to filling up our time and reaching. We don’t know what to do when we are quiet, alone, still and have our hands close to our cells, as if the answer we’ve been waiting for or our next goal, hoorah, will come at any moment.

Many are going crazy because they don’t have their usual devices and fixes to help them. A latte at our regular coffee shop, cocktails at our favourite bar, or an intense workout at our gym. These are all good pursuits, but if taken away, which they are for the most part now, then what will we do?

It’s almost like the universe, and life, has ripped away the pacifiers from our mouths, and it’s saying, ok, it’s time, there will never be THE time, let’s get going with your life. You say I don’t know what to do, and I would really like a latte first.

Here’s how the conversation I had between the universe/god/life went down this morning.

Universe: No, I’m serious, get going!

Me: To do what? (in a whining voice).

Universe: With your life!

Me: But I can’t, it’s a pandemic, did you read the news? (rolling my eyes)

Universe: Of course, I know. Pandemic or not, you need to get going with your life, and it starts now.

Me: How?

Universe: It’s by starting to come home more.

Me: But I am home, I am SO much at home!

Universe: You’re not.

Me: What, you’re really annoying me now because I am home because I can’t wait to get out of here and have more freedom!

Universe: You do have freedom.

Me: Are you kidding me, get out of here, now you’re really bugging me!

Universe: You do.

Me: How?!

Universe: You always do. It’s an illusion that you don’t

Me: What illusion, and who’s the magician?

Universe: It’s you.

Me: I am the magician?!

Universe: Yes.

Me: What do you mean?

Universe: You create the illusion that things are in your way, so you can’t move forward.

Me: I do?

Universe: You know you do. Does what I say ring true in your body.

Me: Yes, it does.

Universe: See. Feel more, do less.

Me: But I thought you just told me to get going and act. This doesn’t make sense, and now you are really ticking me off!

Universe: If you feel more, it will be ok.

Me: What do you mean?

Universe: I know you are scared.

Me: Scared of what?

Universe: The emotions that come up when you pause or stop. Those emotions that you don’t like, so you push them or hide.

Me: I’m a happy person and don’t want those negative emotions to prevent me from being so.

Universe: Those emotions are not you. They are just coming up to tell you something.

Me: What?

Universe: That you are human. That you are love. That you matter. It’s part of the human condition to feel. They are just emotions passing like the clouds in the sky.

Me: So why do I even have to notice them then, I don’t get it?

Universe: When you don’t notice them, they hide inside and create a poison that infiltrates your entire body. Where once you had a small inkling of something, it becomes bigger.

Me: Really, I don’t really feel that.

Universe: It’s because you numb it out. Your spirit knows. People eat, drink, smoke weed, check their phones, put on the TV, anything that is louder than the voice inside that says quietly, “Hey there, I’m talking to you.”

Me: Oh.

Universe: Don’t take what I say as bad or good. Just feel this yourself next time you stop or pause and see what happens.

Me: What if I can’t handle it?

Universe: You will if you don’t attach to an emotion. Just see them come and go as clouds or as birds flying through. Just watch and let it go. The key is not to attach. Come back to your breathing, come back home. There is always safety in presence, which is home, and your breath. Breathe deeply and imagine the home as the most comfortable place that you like to be and makes you feel safe and happy, even though it may not be your home now.

Me: Oh, it doesn’t make much sense, but I guess it’s worth a try.

Universe: What have you got to lose? You’re feeling a bit lost and down without a goal, right?

Me: Yes.

Universe: Well, this will help.

Me: I don’t understand how if I don’t have a goal.

Universe: Imagine what you want in your life, how your life would look if you were harmony. Don’t let the ego thoughts attract you and tell you can’t have it, you’re too poor, and it doesn’t make sense. Just feel in your body the vision and walk toward it in your heart. Any doubts or thoughts that come let them go, again, remember they are like clouds. The moment you attach to them, you are in the past or future. You step away from home and this vision. The moment you breathe, close your eyes, and see the life you want clearly in front of you and walk toward it, and let go, the moment you step toward it.

Me: Who’s we?

Universe: There are so many forces around you. The universe you may call it, god, buddha, angels, ancestors, spirit guides. There are so many that are cheering for you, and want you to succeed. Goals are from the ego-mind to make you feel better and safe. It’s like the side of the pool we reach for when we are tired or the end of the pool as a marker to let us know we need to turn around. But they are not the goal.

Me: What do you mean?

Universe: The goal is the vision, what you want, and you. You can have goals, of course, and some people need them more than others. But remember they are not your life, like those emotions. Remember, your life is more than goals and feelings. The real goal is you.

It’s about stepping into your presence and power to use your gifts and passions in the life that you have now. It’s to squeeze every bit of out you so that when you die or about to die, you have no regrets. You will know you did what you could to serve and to love. We are like juicers, and there are so many things that come to us to be squeezed. Some we take in and not, but we get to decide what we juice or not, and we don’t even need to juice at all. The thing that we need to juice the most is us.

Me: What does this mean?

Universe: We need to use our life force and energy to help others, to serve humanity, to notice the world around us and be grateful. To step into our power and life force that is waiting for us. They say all systems go. They are waiting for the commander and pilot to step in, so the starship can take off into the galaxy.

We are the starships, and the goals are like the stars we reach for, but they are not us. They are there to show us where we are, to guide us and light our way, but they are not the path. The path is us in the starship, soaring in an infinite galaxy of possibilities.

Me: But what if I don’t know what I want?

Universe: First step into the starship, take the commanding role, and see. See what the views look like from there and then ask. You will know. Many don’t reach that point. They get hung up on reaching for a star, another one, and then they think, where’s the next one? In fact, it’s not about the stars at all. Even if there were a million stars out there, and there are sometimes, it’s not about that at all. It’s about us. We are infinite, we have enormous possibilities and options, and it’s to stay open to them than staying small and where we are.

Me: How do we do this?

Universe: Looking up at the sky during the day and the night sky, as you have been doing, helps. It’s connecting with our inner selves. We forget this and focus so much on our outer selves. This is great, but there needs to be a balance. How we feel inside determines how we look on the outside. People will know even if we put on a smile or try to be friendly. We have this inner sensing device even though our minds don’t want us to trust it. It’s the part of being human and what has protected us from harm for centuries. That’s why the heart and mind must work together, like a happy partnership of equals, and say, “we’ve got this, we’re covered.” We need to use all that we have on the inside to help our world on the outside.

We often start from the opposite way, and that’s why it doesn’t work for many. From the outside in. Buying things that make us feel better, that makes us think we have more than others, and to change our appearance. This is ok, but it all starts from the inside.

Those things can only make us happy and satisfied for so long. They help, of course, but more so, when it’s alignment with what the spirit wants and truly supports us. It’s about loving ourselves, listening to ourselves, and providing comfort first to us. Like a primary caregiver, with tender caresses, gentle words and a kindness that is so loving and caring that it makes us cry in relief.

To feel that we are loved and taken care of is one of the greatest feelings, isn’t it? To know that we belong and matter, are also important, right?

Those are not exterior purchases or things we can buy, but we create over a lifetime and find. At the end of all our searching, shopping, and troubles, we find that this sense of love and caring, belonging, and meaning in our lives starts with us. It’s that easy, but not.

Caroline: How do we start?

Universe: It’s being gentle and kind to us, it starts there. It begins from noticing the voice and tone we have with ourselves, and changing the voice to someone you feel is caring and loving, and asking, what they would say to you? These are the training wheels to self-love.

Remember, wherever you are now, and however you are feeling, it’s not you. It’s clouds passing. Let them pass. Don’t hang on to them, even if you can. Remember, it’s not you! What remains is you, in that spaceship travelling through space and spreading love and kindness in the galaxy, and the star dust falls below and to everyone we touch. Starship love.