The more I stay in South East Asia, the more there is calm. The calm is within me, nothing on the outside has changed.
This is fascinating for me.
The things I imagined back home are just that, things I imagined, expected, and feared. They are not real.
The more I travel, the more I step out of my comfort zone, my box.
I realize that the only one that is putting me in a box is myself.
Thus the only one who can get me out of this box is me.
How do I get out? What is stopping me from getting out when there is no apparent barbed wire fence or danger in getting out?
It’s my mind!
We are fearful.
If we wait for the day when we don’t have fear so we can do something we would love to do, that day will never come. Here’s the thing I learn time and time again. Fear never goes away.
Fear is part of our DNA and it is has benefits sometimes. It protects us from potentially dangerous situations, people and things. But for the most part, fear prevents us from stepping out of our comfort zones because it feeds on the status quo and doesn’t like change.
It’s like a cat or dog that likes its routine and is confused and irritated when its feeding bowl is changed to a different spot. It doesn’t like it and it tells you so!
Once I realized that fear is my constant companion in life, I invited it in for tea. It’s what Tara Brach brilliantly suggests in her book Radical Acceptance. Invite in for tea emotions that are difficult like fear. She calls it “Tea with Mara”.
I have found in doing this, while my fears are occupied having tea, I begin to hear the quiet whispers of the heart that are always there. They are invited to the tea party too.
I believe more important than where we place our feeding bowls is what’s in it?
What if we were to fill our bowls with things that nourish us, inspire us, that make us truly happy? With so many exciting things in the bowl that call to our souls we are compelled to move to our bowls where ever they may be.
Cats and dogs may not have the choice of what is in their feeding bowls because they don’t have opposable thumbs (if they did, that would be a funny scene!).
But we do. The choice is ours.
You are a good dog. What will you put in your feeding bowl?
Also published on Medium.
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