I’m starting a new blog. The thing is that I’ve started this many times but haven’t continued, something got in the way, life you could say.

The first one called CarolineCooks I began some ten years ago before I started chef school in NYC and wasn’t really clear what a blog was. But once I tried it on, I was hooked. I loved the sharing of my experiences and insights and I could feel you were there though I didn’t know who you were. This blog stopped when I got too busy with the opening of the restaurant, ZenKitchen, and part of the agreement with the production company for the TV reality series was that I would stop blogging so I wouldn’t give anything away.

I longed to share my adventures and stories with you, especially when I went to Japan last spring. I started Beyond Zen to do this. I am not technology saavy but I was proud that I was able to create a blog site that worked. I had many technical problems and frustrating moments in posting things but I pursued because I wanted to tell you things.

I continued the blog when I went to Cortes Island, BC last summer to work at Hollyhock, though the lack of reliable Internet and the job made it challenging for me to post. I pursued because I wanted to take you with me on my journey and share my observations and findings that I thought you would find interesting. This has always been one of my key goals in writing.

I came back to Ottawa, Ontario after BC and I didn’t know what to say to you anymore. I tried a few times, but I was exhausted after my job out west and recuperated through summersing myself in the waters and nature of the Gatineaus. I laid low, well not for long….

I had finished The Accidental Chef book before I left on my Asia trip in the spring of 2015. My talented editor Laura and I worked on a great pitch and we sent it out to publishers. Many people warned us that traditional publishing was dying and that it would be impossible to get them to publish an unknown author.

One publisher did contact me when I came back from out west and said he liked the book and it was publishable. I spent the next few months going back and forth with the board about whether they would put it on their list. In the end, they said it didn’t meet their new mandate and it was declined. That was late fall 2015 and I was disappointed. What to do? Giving up was not an option.

Many people had told me about the merits of self- publishing and I had read lots about it. What convinced me in the end when I was overwhelmed with the process is my best friend Barb saying she would be my project manager and coach on the file. So we put our two collective feet together and took one big into the self-publishing world and said “wheee!”

It was daunting, confusing, frustrating at times going through the details of self-publishing, more for me than Barb, being the creative restless soul I am. But there were also satisfying, freeing and jubilant moments as we worked together on the end goal… to bring my baby into the world. I will never forget the journey, the power of love and someone who believed in me more than I believed in myself.

Every time I wanted to give up, she was there to shine the light on the next thing we needed to do. Instead of looking backward, I followed the light and moved forward one step at a time, and sometimes reluctantly and whining I have to admit. One day I may write about our experience with the self-publishing process so that we can share our knowledge with others but perhaps it is better left on the shelf like child birth.

Every time I came across a barrier either Barb had a solution, I did or we came up with a collective one. I didn’t have money. I came up with an Indiegogo online community fundraising campaign. ZenKitchen restaurant was started with a community supported restaurant initiative so why not continue with this next venture and ask people to support me I thought? I asked and the support I received exceeded my expectations. And people who Barb came to call “Team Caroline” came forward to help me create the book, providing their physical and emotional support in so many ways. I am forever grateful.

I’ve had many stops, starts and pauses over the past years since I started on this path of the heart but I wouldn’t change a thing, even the painful moments. It has led me to this point of writing to you today to let you know that I’m starting a new blog, created by the talented designer Diana.

The blog is uniquely me. And because it is so, it will reflect me. It won’t be formulaic or linear. It will be curious with many questions and some answers. It will be honest, playful, and filled with life coursing through its veins, which is often a mix of emotions. It will have the same ingredient I put into all my projects and food and is the one thing that remains constant… LOVE.

I felt compelled to bring out the book to the world and I did. Now I feel I need to get back to blogging to continue to tell my stories. I want to nourish and inspire you with stories that touch the heart and stir up something inside in the hopes that you will bring forward your unique gifts and stories in the finite time we have on this earth. Imagine a world where we doing what we love and sharing this with others. That alone would have an incredible impact on this and future generations.

We always have the opportunity to start where we are, get back on that horse, even if we’ve fallen off many times, look forward to the unknown and say giddy up. See you on the trails! Love, Caroline xo